Enough Already

Princess Diana, queen of hearts, was discovered dead today, a coroner confirms. Cause of death appears to have been asphyxiation, however, the princess had received several large abrasions to the head and torso. Early rumours claim that her body was unearthed from six feet of dirt.

She was discovered when guards were alerted to someone loitering with a spade in the grounds of Kensington palace. As the two guards approached they discovered that the man, one Adam I. Lily, had removed several layers of dirt from the ground, exposing the coffin, I mean box, and was proceeding to remove his underwear. Mr Lily was taken into custody for questioning and is likely to be charged later this week.

The princess, who had been living in subterranean quarters for the past 13 years, provided much charitable work towards the ruination of Britain’s monarch. She has also been linked to several conspiracy theories. Little is known of her current sex life, though it is widespread knowledge that she’s ‘dirty’.

Advertisements

Leave a comment

Filed under Time

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s